I would like to share a story with you about being married. It is a joyful thing to be able to share with you!
Prior to getting married I was working on an iOS app I was making for Xenos Columbus and had probably sunk about 100 hours of my life into thus far. They didn’t even want it I was just doing it for fun. I probably only needed 50 more hours of work to finish the app. It was a really cool app. Anyway, I never finished the app, not because I didn’t have time or because I hit a technical roadblock but because I chose to live life.
One night a couple of weeks after my return from a magical honeymoon among the enchanting red rocks of sedona I found myself heavy laden with the realities of life. Life being married was busy and I needed to relax. I needed to get away and do a little fun programming. I opened up my app and started writing.
A few lines in and I started to get a heavy heart. It was the Lord trying to talk to me. Against my desire, I stopped and listened to what he had to say. What he said was simple, clear and piercing. He showed me my sin. I had a sick and depraved heart. Why, you may ask. Because I choose to spend time working on this stilly little app than spend that time with my hot, fun, loving wife. At that moment I was arrested by the Spirit and said “you’re right, God.” I realized I had a sick heart and needed to learn a new way of love. That day I quit programming for fun.
I was having a Romans 12:2 experience.
2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. – Romans 12:2 New International Version (NIV)
The next 9 months were awesome. I felt as if I was liberated from bondage. My problem was not that I had a hobby but I needed to learn to love. I had to be willing to give up the source of my pride, my programming, to see how valuable love relationships are. Now I would much rather spend time with my wife than program. How could I have I ever been so stupid?! Life is valuable and I have awesome people to spend it with. It makes me feel silly to look back and think about all the time I wasted looking at a screen when I could have been out having fun, creating memories, and having shared experiences with my wife and my friends.
I am very cautious now when I do any kind of programming outside of work. I am a little afraid after tasting how awesome my relationships can be that I may slip back into my self-absorbed programming world. That’s a dark lonely word, and I dont want to get stuck there again. Again just to clarify my programming was not the problem it was my heart attitude toward relationships.
As for me I choose life
I think it would be wise to pursue life like Paul did – imparting our lives to others.
8 Having so fond an affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us. – 1 Thessalonians 2:8 New American Standard Bible (NASB)