the suns gunna rise in a mile, in a mile you’ll be oding fine

but trust me,
i hush puppies.

Sorry, i am listening to Lupe.

<a href=”http://photobucket.com/images/lupe fiasco” target=”_blank”><img src=”http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj1/burnin_hedgehog/Lupe%20Fiasco/lupe2.jpg” border=”0″ alt=”lupe fiasco Pictures, Images and Photos”></a>

So i have been thinking a lot lately about relationships. I feel like i am always dissing people, which i am.. and i especially feel bad about one person. I dont exactly have many best friends. In fact, i havent had pretty tight people for awhile. I used to have like five best friends. There was Cara, Heather, Bianka, Miranda and Asta. Then there was Kelly, Bianka, Mallory, Sam and Asta. Then Courtney, Sarah, Lindsay, Gina and Asta… you get the point. Well I moved, Cara stayed. same with Heather. Bianka left. Miranda moved to Singapore, came back and left. Kelly never accepted me after we didnt see eachother for a year. Bianka left… Mallory left badly. Sam left horribly. But Asta has always been there. Yeah, we have had so many rough patches but i have only focused on those. This weekend, a rush of realization came over me and i had a sense of what she is going through. I never could relate to her on this level. I always wondered why i couldnt say everything or why she was always talking. Well i figured out why and im not going to say it here. But i feel for her. And i realize that she DOES care for our relationship as much as i do. What can i say? I cant be here without her. (yes i say that right) ((and that too))

Its amazing how God works through people. Seeing as though my two best friends are completely opposite of me, its humorous actually. Asta and Lauren, man its so nice to know i will live with them forever! i just have to think of this and my whole day gets better. i dont have the feeling of school ending when i know im not going to see my new friends for awhile, or ever again. but then i think of my other good friends: adi, anele, chloe, shelly, becky, katy, brooke, brandi, Catie… all yes. But what about Jocelyn, no. Courtney? no. Kenni? no! Im not going to live with them forever. I think this is my main focus for outreach, it really gets me going. Courtney is one of my best friends. Knowing she is not a christian, i die everytime i think about it. It just ruins my whole day. I would love for people to pray for her if they read this. She is realizing that living for soccer and school is pointless so i hope to talk to her on that issue. God, i love her so much and i just wish i could make her a christian sometimes, but that is ridiculous. I want to see er happy like we are. So i hope she comes to homechurch!

please Lord i pray that she does!

 

 

you want the real shit, well i got ya

One thought on “the suns gunna rise in a mile, in a mile you’ll be oding fine”

  1. Very cool insights, Elli. But do you realize this: it’s your thankfulness that’s opening it all up in your heart?

    There’s some kind of maxxim people say about friendship: like, if you have one close friend in life, you’re very lucky. I think it’s something like that.

    But what I see is most incredibly significant in your life is Lauren. She’s of a different “class” than, say Sam or Bianca. With Lauren, for her entire life, she’ll always be indebted to your sacrifice. Those others were based more on “happenstance” than sacrifice, and as they say: “easy come, easy go.”

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