“I just want to live my life!”
The phrase radiates from out of every kid I pass in the hall. Their eyes scream it. Whether it is partying every weekend or getting into a top college, all of them want to go live.
Well yeah. I know. Every one story is the same.
From my place right now, it all looks ridiculous. Such a waste of time. How can someone want to be like Paris Hilton? Or how do they think they can survive past 20 when they smoke pot every day. They are already retarded, its hard to believe they can kill anymore brain cells. They don’t need it.
Everyday, I listen to a girls story in first period, developing all different responses I could say to her. She has a boyfriend that can’t go a day without getting high. Her mom is pregnant and she herself was an accident. She is going to move in with her boyfriend soon behind her mom’s back. She hates her mom but, from what i’ve heard, her mom really seems to love her and doesn’t want to lose her.
My first response was that she had a bad childhood. Which may be true. My new theory is that she just wants to grow up. Now.
Just like everyone in high school.
They wear heels and stick their noses up, thinking they are way more mature than this high school drama.
Truth is, they THRIVE off of it.
Those shoes are ugly doesn’t get any better either. When they finally graduate and are supposedly mature, the shoes turn into careers, schools or partners.
We look up to adults today, they are descent enough. Though, of course, many adults even now are not fit to be role models. But, my point is that they are descent enough to a point where we find them unfit. Unfit meaning 1. “Parents don’t know shit” they actually are oblivious or 2. “They won’t do anything i ask!” parents give them everything they want… In my opinion, both of these are ‘unfit’… thats not a good word… It isn’t all the parents fault, the kids these days are SUPER manipulative. Do anything to get their way.
So the point of that paragraph was to lead to this: With parents doing everything “we” want, HOW are WE going to SURVIVE?
We get everything given to us. Even fucking jobs. It is insane. There are kids who totally support themselves but MOST of us, fewww, this is why I don’t want to think about it. Plus, with this whole recession, I am kind of glad. I hope the whole world blows up so its just kaos everywhere.. but then I dont. If it comes to crazy, I could become a Rorschache or something. That would be bad ass. But, what am I saying, I’m a princess on a huge pillow, far away from the grime and spit of earth…
And that is another thing. I don’t WANT to act like this or be spoiled this way (well, i do but I don’t want to be known as the you know ignorant american.) I would love to go DO something. Go to africa like martha or dye my hair brown then go face a war in India. Save some kids in a different way than the world sees it. I’m stuck here. Yeah it is for the better, I know. I am growing so much spiritually and learning a lot but if there is any way or any chance of going on the missions field in any of God’s plans, I will take it willingly! I’m sure it would be SUCH a life changing experience with TONS of relying on the Lord, and that right there sounds so much better than any plump pink pillow I may be sitting on.
Because if i jump off, I KNOW God will catch me.
Just something to think about.